Never Alone
by PeperoPanda
Summary: Taemin is being abused, and he doesn't understand much of the world around him. But Jinki's here to change that. OnTae JongKey SHINee Onew Jonghyun Kibum Key Minho Taemin
1. The First Night

**(The First Night)**

I met Jinki when I was 16. He was 19 at the time, and it was a complete chance that we met. I was at the park really late one night, and I was on the swingset, crying. He was there too, but he was looking for something, one of his neighbors had lost their dog. It was raining, and he had a flashlight in his palm. To make a long story short, the small dog was in my lap, and so when he spotted me, he found the dog as well. He lifted the shaking animal from my lap and stared at me for a long moment, and I knew he could see it. The dark purple bruise on my collar bone, under my ripped shirt, and I knew I could lie to him just as easily as any of the others, but I didn't. I didn't say anything, and I let him look as long as he wanted. I let him see what was wrong with me, because it didn't matter anymore. And then he spoke, and it was the kindest voice I had ever heard. Soft - yet strong, and strangley comforting.

"If you stay outside, you'll be sick." He said. And he picked me up off the swing, and helped me up onto his back.

After that, he brought me with him to return his neighbors dog, saying how I had found it, and kept it safe. The woman who owned the dog was so thankful, and it bothered me a lot for some reason, so I stepped into the stranger's shadow, the one who was taking me out of the cold, and hid my face. He laughed with the woman for a moment, commenting on my shyness, and then wished her a good night. When the door closed, he put his arm around me and led me to his apartment. He helped me get my shirt off, and wrapped a fluffly towel around my upper half. Not long after, he instruted me to remove my wet clothing, and take a warm shower to heat up my aching skin. When I eventually did come out of the shower, I dried myself quickly, and put on the pajama pants he had let me borrow, before stepping out into the living room and seeing him standing by the stove with two steaming mugs. When he saw me he turned with a smile, and came over, taking the towel from my hands and gently drying my hair.

I looked up at him slowly, and I felt the tears coming down my face before I was even aware my eyes were watering. He stopped, looking slightly alarmed, and asked if he had hurt me. His words brought on even more tears, and I shook my head, bringing my hands up to my eyes. He looked around nervously, but when I reached out slowly to touch his arm, he stopped and looked down at me, saw the bruises across my chest and stomach, old and new, and finally looked at my face again.

"Who did this to you?" He asked. I pulled my hand back and sniffled, trying to regain some composure before I answered, though it was harder than I thought it would be. He moved me over to the couch and sat me down, dissapearing behind a door for a minute, then coming back with a t-shirt in his hand and sliding it over my head. He looked apologetic, and I wiped at my eyes and took a deep breath. "Will you tell me?"

"My dad..he gets mad sometimes." I said, not sure how much to give away. "I do bad things, and he punishes me so I can be good."

"I don't understand." He said, and I bit my lip. "If you really believed that, you wouldn't run from it."

"Yes I would. I'm bad. Bad kids don't take their punishment." I told him, tears in my eyes.

"What did you do to deserve this one?" He asked, grazing the one on my colar bone. I flinched slightly.

"I didn't do the dishes before I ate dinner." I said. He stared at me with an expressionless face for a long time, before he pulled me against him.

"My name is Jinki." He said. I leaned my head on his chest, thinking how much trouble I would get in when I got home.

"T-Taemin." I said. He nodded and pet my hair for a moment, before letting me go and going to the kitchen to get the drinks. When he came back I was standing in the same spot, and he handed me one of the mugs before taking a seat on the couch and looking at me expectantly. "Th-thanks."

I sat on the couch near him, but not too close, as he turned the television on. I sipped at the cocoa in my hands and let out a small sigh when it warmed my insides. I was so tired, suddenly, and Jinki looked over at me as I set the cup down, for fear of dropping it.

"Are you tired?" He asked me. I nodded shyly, and he looked at the clock. "Do you have school tomorrow?"

"N-no, it's summer break." I told him. He blinked a few times and nodded.

"I forgot about that." He said. "If you want to, you can stay here tonight. It's pretty late, and it's cold out."

That was how I ended up living with Jinki. The first few weeks were awkward, uncomfortable, and uncertain. I kept waiting for him to lash out, or send me home, and when he was home he spent his time trying to convince me that nothing my parents had done was right, or my fault. When he wasn't home, I explored his apartment, getting familiar with his fridge, and his cooking utensils. The first few days he seemed almost relieved to see me there when he came back, but eventually he just got to know that I would be there. I started making him dinner, and washing his cloths, and cleaning up the little apartment. He was my best friend, and not too long after, he was my first kiss.

It was slow, and shy, and so sweet. It was a sigh, a gentle massage from his lips to mine, and I drank it in like a cool box of banana milk. My eyes flickered open when he pulled away, and I stared at him for a while, with him staring right back, and eventually I realized what we had done. My cheeks tinted a light pink, and he smiled sheepishly as I brought my hand up to my lips, touching where his had touched mine. He pulled me into his lap and smiled at me, and I leaned against him, letting my heart beat fly.


	2. School

When school started again, I got arrested. The cops came in and took me right out of class, and I started crying in front of everyone. I had been arrested before, too, for running away, but I'd never been gone more than two nights back then. The cops and my classmates were used to me being quiet, not really focusing on anything as they cuffed me and pulled me out. The Taemin they knew was shy, and seemed not to be bothered by anything that happened. The Taemin they knew had only ever known pain and humiliation, and had not spent two months being protected and loved in the safety of a home that didn't terrify him. I was a stranger, with a healthier weight, no bruises or broken bones, and clean cloths. But I was more emotionally vulnerable than I ever had been before.

I had told Jinki I didn't want to go. I told him it was dangerous. I told him they would take me away. No matter what I told him, though, he just promised that everything would be ok. But this wasn't ok, and I didn't know if I would ever see him again. I debated struggling, but I knew it would be pointless. The police were being gentle with me, guiding me through the halls instead of shoving me, like they might do to someone else. When we got to the police station, I saw my parents waiting for me, and I ducked my head. The cops tried to move me toward them, and I shook my head, fighting to remain where I was. One of them began to push me in a harsher attempt to make me greet them, and I fell to the floor.

"You haven't seen your parents in two months. Didn't you miss them?" The cop prodded.

I shook my head, cringing when he touched me. It was already starting to come back. The fear, and the weakness that Jinki spent two months helping me fight off. Small kisses and hugs each time I flinched, to show me he wouldn't harm me. Kind words instead of screaming when I made a mistake, because slipping up was it's own lesson. I tried to hold on to these things while the police dragged me up off the ground and brought me into an interrogation room. They would ask me the same things they had asked before, and I wasn't sure if I would tell the truth this time. I could see my father through the window, glaring at me and shaking his head almost imperceptably. I cringed into my chair as the door behind me opened, and I waited for one of the angry men to sit across from me. But no one came into view, and after a moment I heard a sigh.

"Would someone please remove the cuffs from this child?" It was a woman's voice. Within moments the metal around my wrists was gone, and I put my hands in my lap, glaring down at them as the woman closed the door and sat across from me. "Hi, Taemin. I'm Jessica. It's nice to meet you."

My eyes flickered automatically to my father before I answered her, and her eyes followed my gaze. She got up slowly and shut the blinds around the room, and on the door, before sitting back where she had been. She stayed silent, not really looking at anything, like she was waiting. I looked around silently, trying to figure out what she could be waiting for, before I realized she wanted me to speak up. I looked back at the window and realized, to my relief, I couldn't see my father. I couldn't see anyone, though. I rubbed at my wrist absently for a minute before the silence became too much.

"H-hi." I said nervously. She looked at me with a smile.

"How are you doing today?" She asked. I shrugged a bit.

"I was doing better before I got arrested." I said. She laughed at that, and I looked up at her in surprise.

"I would say being arrested would mess up anyone's day." She said. I nodded slowly. "So, would you like to tell me why you ran away from home?"

"I.." I bit the inside of my cheek and looked up at the window, but I didn't see my father, so I nodded slowly. "I don't like being at home."

"Well, I gathered that from looking at your record. But usually, the longest you're gone is a day or two. How did you live on the streets for two months and come back this healthy?" She asked. I swallowed hard.

"M-my friend let me stay with him." I told her. She nodded slowly.

"A friend from school?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"I met him when I ran away." I told her. "It was raining, and he didn't want me to get sick."

"Well, he sounds like a good friend." Jessica told me. I nodded slowly, waiting for her to ask his name, and dreading the moment she did. But it didn't come. At least, not right away. "So, why didn't you go home after the rain stopped?"

"I was afraid to." I blurted out. "I didn't want to get in trouble."

"Well, I'm sure your parents were more worried for your safety than they were about punishing you." Jessica said. I shook my head. "Well, even if they did punish you, wouldn't you say it was just to keep you safe?"

"They hit me." I said, my voice shaking. I felt like I was going to throw up and I looked up at the window again, afraid my parents would somehow hear me through the glass.

"What do you mean?" She asked. I kept my eyes on the window and shrank back into the chair.

"When they get mad. They don't even have to be mad at me." I was talking fast, afraid of the truths I was spilling on the woman. "When I ran away and stayed with Jinki, it was because they were really mad. My dad pushed me down the stairs, and my mom kicked me when I got to the bottem. Her shoe ripped my shirt, and it hurt so bad, and I just got up and ran away."

Tears were tracking down my face at this point and I could feel my breath leaving me. It felt like I would never calm down, and nothing would ever be ok, and I had to try to stop it before it got really bad because Jinki wasn't there to calm me down this time. He wasn't going to be able to fix it all this time. I was never going to see him again, and some part of me wasn't able to accept that. I felt like I was going to scream, and I started rocking back and forth in my chair, and Jessica was just stunned. She tried to talk to me, but I couldn't hear her, and suddenly I realized I had given her Jinki's name by accident. He was going to get in trouble, too, and I felt a sob shake my entire body.

"Taemin, what's wrong?" She asked, and I looked up at her, my eyes wide. It was the first thing that had come through since the episode started, and I wondered why I was calming down.

"Jinki's gonna get in trouble." I said. "I didn't mean to get him in trouble."

"Taemin, he won't get in trouble." She assured me, and I felt my breath catch.

"How do you know?" I asked. She smiled softly.

"Honey, I'm not a cop." She said. "I'm a lawyer. I'm Jinki's lawyer. He's trying to get you taken out of your parents home, so you can live with him instead. Ok? So calm down. It'll be ok."

"Is he here?" I asked after taking a few minutes to process this information.

She nodded slowly and got up, opening the blinds, and my eyes went to my father right away. He gave me a dark look, and I crumbled again, bringing my knees up to sheild my body. Jessica looked at me, then pointed to the right, and I saw Jinki. He was staring at me with sadness in his eyes, and I wanted to go to him, to hug him and have him hug me back. To tell him I loved him, because I'd been too afraid to say it before, but now I wasn't sure I would ever have the chance. Jessica waved her hand in front of my face.

"Taemin, are you listening?" She asked. I looked up at her, confusion written on my face, and she sighed. "Would you like to go see him?"

"I-" I stopped, and looked back at my father. He looked even angrier than I'd ever seen him, and I flinched, hiding my mouth behind my legs before I spoke. "I'm not allowed. I'll get in trouble."

"You're allowed, Taemin. Come on." She said, holding her hand out to me. I stared at it for a moment before taking hold of it hesitantly. She helped me out of my seat and led me out to the main area, right in between my parents and Jinki. She stepped away from me, and then watched me expectantly. "Go ahead, Taemin."

I looked up at my parents, who's faces spelled more trouble than ever before, especially if I didn't get my ass over there, now. I swallowed hard, and looked at Jinki. Jinki wasn't smiling for once. He looked angry, and it took me a moment to realize the anger wasn't directed at me. It was for my parents. He caught my eye, and his face softened considerably. He motioned for me to come closer, and I gathered up all my courage and ran to him, sliding into his arms. He hugged me tightly to himself, and kissed the top of my head. I looked up at him, then looked around quickly to make sure no one would hear me if I spoke really softly, and I leaned in close to his ear.

"I love you." I told him, and he seemed frozen. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier."

"Taeminnie.." He was quiet for a moment, before he leaned back and looked at me. "I love you, too. It'll be ok, alright? I promise."

"O-okay." I said, and he pulled me close to him again. He held me like that for a long time, until my father coughed and I tensed up, pulling away from him reflexively.

"Taemin. Come here." He comanded. I stared at Jinki with fear in my eyes. He smiled weakly at me and took my hand in his, bringing it up and kissing it softly.

"Go ahead. I'll see you soon, ok?" He said, and I nodded, faking strength I knew I'd never have, and turned to go with my father.


	3. Fear

Three weeks. I spent three weeks back at home with my parents before I even heard from Jinki again. You would have thought the first night would be the worst, but no. It was the third night. The first night they beat me worse than they ever had before, and the second night they repeated their actions. I wasn't given food or water, but I got those for free at school, so I would be fine. But the third night, my father came for me, woke me up, and made me sit up the whole night. He didn't hit me once, but he talked to me the whole night. He asked me why I was doing this to him, why I would chose this stranger over my own family. Told me that Jinki didn't care about me, and he never had. He said, I was Jinki's charity case, and all those nice things he had told me were lies. He told me that he was all I had.

And then he touched me. He was gentle, stroking my hair, kissing my cheeks, and hugging me. He had done things like this a few times before, but it was scarier than his anger, somehow. It was something I didn't know, it was unexpected, it was terrifying, and, worse than anything else, it was all I ever wanted. That was what made it so hard so sit through these nights, because they never lasted more than one night, and the next day I had to face reality. When he did this, it messed with my brain. I cried the whole time, and he comforted me, and told me he loved me, and he was sorry. That was the worst, when he apologized. If I called him out on it, and told him I didn't believe him, or worse, told him I didn't forgive him, he would get angry. But if I told him it was ok, and I forgave him, he would look so...satisfied. Like he had done something right, and that was worse than him hitting me. It was him hitting me and feeling like it was ok, as long as he said sorry. If I stayed quiet, he would shake me to make sure I was awake, then demand an answer. That night, I was angry at him for taking Jinki away from me, so I didn't forgive him.

After a while, I passed out from the pain. My mother came in, then, and waited. When I finally woke I was in so much pain, and I had been dreaming of Jinki, of him being kind, and caring, as he always was, but when I woke up, he wasn't there. I began to cry almost as soon as I realized the figure on my bed wasn't him. My mother reached down and petted my blood-soaked hair with a smile.

"Look at that. My little baby made a mess." She said. I didn't know what she was talking about until she pulled me into a sitting position and I saw the glass of water beside the bed. It was a prank kids usually pulled on one another at slumber party's, to put your hand in warm water and make you wet the bed. It was worse, though, being 16 years old and knowing that you had wet yourself. It was humiliating, and my mother just smiled, overflowing with false kindness. "It's ok, honey. Someday, you'll stop being stupid. You'll remember to go before bed."

What could I do? I nodded, trying to choke back the tears as she pulled me up off the bed and lead me down the hall to the bathroom. She turned the water on cold and pushed me in, still fully clothed. I waited until she left, then shed my clothing and washed as quickly as possible. If I changed the temperature, even just enough to make it bearable, she would know. She always knew. So I scrubbed my sore scalp and aching body, trying to rid myself of the awful filth. I had finally gotten to know my body without bruises, and now, here I was, so black and blue it was disgusting. I couldn't stand to look at myself, and I vomited what my stomach still held all over the shower floor. I got out of the shower a minute later, wrapping a dirty towel around myself, because clean towels were for clean people. I would always be dirty within their home.

My mother got me a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, both of which I had worn when I was arrested, and I knew they had not been cleaned. I dressed in them without complaint, and sat shivering, or maybe just shaking, in my room, trying not to sit on the obvious wet spot in the corner of the bed. I sat up like that all night, not knowing if they would come for me in my sleep again, but not wanting to risk it. I got very sick over the next few weeks, losing all the weight I had gained at Jinki's, and the more time that passed without calls from child services or lawyers, the more confident my parents became in their thought that no one would look for me. They were going to kill me during the next school holiday. I could hear them talking about it, and I think they knew.

By the time the phone rang on my third week in, I was a wreck. Never before had my parents gotten into my head so badly, and I jumped about a foot in the air when the ringer pierced the air, and I picked it up tentatively. I wasn't supposed to use the phone, but my parents were out. I was supposed to take messages for them when they were out. I had to remind myself of that three times before I answered.

"H-hello?" I said softly.

"Hi. This is Jessica Jung calling. Is Taemin available?" The voice on the other end of the line said. I felt my breath catch, and the dizziness I was experiencing increased.

"J-Jessica?" I said. She sighed.

"Taemin, are your parents listening?" She asked.

"N-no. They're not home." I told her.

"Are you alright?" She asked. I sat on the couch, another thing I wasn't supposed to do.

"I'm scared. I think..I think they want to kill me." I said, my fear seeping into my voice. "I thought you said..I was going to be able to get out.."

"Taemin, you need to breath." She said. I didn't realize I was choking on my air until she said that. "Damnit, hold on."

There was silence on the other end of the phone for a moment, then static before I heard slow and steady breathing.

"Taemin?" It was Jinki. "Taemin, come on. Talk to me. Are you ok?"

"No." I choked out. "I'm sick, and it hurts. It hurts everywhere."

"When's the last time you ate?" He asked. I sobbed as quietly as I could, and then I heard a car in the driveway. They were home early.

"They're home. I have to go. I can't get in trouble again." I said.

"Taemin, don't hang up-" He said.

"I'm sorry." I hung up quickly and rushed up the stairs to my room, listening intently.

I heard the door open downstairs, and I waited as I heard two sets of feet walking through the downstairs. They were checking to see what I'd touched while they were gone. Nothing, though. I learned. I didn't touch anything, and they wouldn't be able to punish me this time. Right? I heard footsteps on the stairs, coming down the hall slowly, opening each door, and a new thought dawned on me. What if my parents weren't home? What if these were burgalers? Would they kill me? Would that really be so bad? I realized where my thoughts were headed, and I choked on a sob. The steps in the hall stopped and I tensed. They started moving, more quickly, toward my room. I got up quickly and went into the closet to hide. I was in no condition to fight someone off, but if I could hide, maybe they would leave me alone.

I heard my bedroom door open and someone stepped inside slowly, taking their time to look around. It was at least a full minute before before I heard the footsteps retreating, and I knew then it wasn't my father. I sniffled instinctively, then froze. I prayed softly that the person wouldn't have heard me, but then I heard the footsteps coming back. I squashed myself as far into the darkest corner as I could, terrified tears pouring down my face. The door opened and light flooded the closet, coming from a flashlight in the person's hand. He panned it over on me and gasped softly. He knelt down slowly, and I became aware of the fact that he was trying not to scare me. I watched him warily as he pushed the flashlight over to me, and I picked it up with shaking hands. I turned the beam of light on him, sobbing harder than I had in a while, and saw that he was a cop.

"W-what are you doing here?" I asked. He held out his hand and I stared at it.

"I want to talk to you. Are you Taemin Lee?" He asked. I nodded, looking at his hand distrustfully. He pulled it back slowly. "I came to see how you're doing. Your friend, Jinki? He's really worried about you."

"J-Jinki?" I asked. He nodded, and I clutched the flashlight tighter. "You're lying!"

"I'm not. Come with me, and you'll see." He said. I shook my head, trying to press myself further into the closet. "Please Taemin."

"No! You're lying! Stop lying to me!" I screamed, then I panicked. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please don't be angry!"

"I'm not angry. Do you want to call Jinki and talk to him?" He asked. I stared at him for a minute.

"I don't know his phone number." I whispered. "I forgot to ask him for it. I heard the car and I just got scared."

"Well, what if I promise to take you to see him?" He offered. I wiped at my eyes miserably.

"Why should I believe you?" I asked. He shrugged.

"Because it's either that, or you sit here and wait for your parents to get home." He told me. I didn't answer, and he held out his hand again. I placed my hand in his nervously, and he helped me up. "Can you walk on your own?"

"Y-yeah..I'm ok." I said, still holding the flashlight. I knew I would never use it as a weapon, but it's weight was comforting somhow. He let me lead the way out, and I froze in the hallway when I saw his partner with a gun in his hand. I screamed and tried to turn and run back into the bedroom. The officer caught me and lifted me up in his arms.

"Put that thing away, you're going to give this poor kid a heart attack." He snapped. He partner apologized and tucked his gun away. The cop set me back down and guided me down the stairs and out to the car. "I'm going to have you ride in the back seat, ok? But you're not under arrest. You can hold onto that flashlight, ok?"

I nodded rapidly, sliding into the back seat silently. He closed the door behind me and I leaned on the door quietly, still holding the flashlight in my hands. I clicked it off when the cops slid into the front seat and headed down the street to the police station. I'd been there so many times, it was weird to be going without handcuffs. I felt so small in the back of that car, and when I got out of the car I looked around nervously before going up the stairs that lead to the main building. I opened the door and went inside, the cops close behind me, and I kept my gaze on the floor. I had just remembered how I looked, and while it had been dark enough to hide the worst of it, I was now stepping into a brightly lit area. I knew, once I stepped inside, they would all know. I pulled open the second door and stepped inside shyly. The slight chatter that had been taking place when I entered the room stopped altogether, and I felt sick to my stomach.

"Taemin?" I heard a familiar voice whisper. My head snapped up on it's own, and I saw Jinki standing halfway across the room. "Oh, my God."

I felt myself starting to hyperventilate, and I dropped the flashlight in favor of running into Jinki's waiting arms. He held me close and kissed my head, and I could feel him shaking. I looked up at him after a minute, and I was shocked to see him crying.

"J-Jinki?" I said, concern flooding my voice. I tugged on his shirt. "Jinki, what's wrong?"

"I'm so sorry, Taemin. I'm so, so sorry it took so long." He said. I blinked a few times, confused. "I never wanted to leave you there for so long."

"Don't cry. It's ok. I'm ok." I told him. He brushed his thumb along a bruise on my right cheek.

"You don't look ok." He told me, guilt in his eyes.

"I am, though." I told him, trying to push all the honesty I had into my voice. "I'm ok now, because you're here."

I felt tears sliding down my own cheeks as I clung to him.

"I missed you so much." I told him, and he nodded.

"I missed you, too, Taeminnie. I love you." He said. I sniffled.

"I love you too."


	4. Trauma

I would love to tell you I went home with Jinki after that, and everything was ok, but that's not what happened. I sat with him in the police station, curled up in his arms as I tried desperately to stay awake. They needed me to answer questions, and I was still afraid. What if this was another dream? I couldn't handle that. I couldn't handle waking up to nothing. The officer I was speaking to stared at me for a long time before I realized I was supposed to be telling him something.

"What?" I asked. He sighed.

"How about you eat something?" He suggested. He got up and went into the next room, coming back with a sandwhich. "Here you go."

I took it from him and stared at it for a moment before biting into it slowly. When I had stayed with Jinki he made me eat apple sauce and jello and pudding for the first two days, then heavy soups, and then sandwiches and other "real" foods. Within a few minutes, I understood Jinki's approach. I vomited all over the floor, then hid my face in Jinki's jacket. I was filthy and disgusting, and now I was wasting food. I tried, over and over to remind myself that I wasn't going to get in trouble, that these people were not my parents, but when someone touched me, I screamed anyway. Jinki pulled the jacket away from my eyes so he could see me, and I pulled back from him refelxively. The worst part was knowing he would never hurt me, but I couldn't prevent the fear that shot through my body, and my reaction probably made him feel terrible.

I hated my parents for the first time, then, for making me so afraid. I shouldn't have been, and some part of me knew that. If the way my parents treated me was normal, I wouldn't act so strange. They had done something wrong. I had flashes of the many things they had done to me, my thoughts lingering on one really bad night just a few days before. My father pulled me out of the icy shower and threw me into the back yard with no cloths. I was out there most of the night, only let in just before the sky lightened up. I forced myself to see what was in front of me instead of my memories. I made myself see Jinki, who had been quietly waiting through my entire episode. He stared at me with puppy eyes, and I pushed my face into his chest, taking in his scent, and felt his arms go around me. I took a deep breath and relaxed, thinking of his small apartment, and the bed that was just big enough for the two of us.

"Taemin?" He said softly. I wanted to answer him, I really did, but I couldn't get the right signals sent from my brain to my body. "Taemin, you have a fever. Are you alright?"

I felt him moving me, but I couldn't do anything about it. I wanted to hold on to him, to his heat, and go home with him. If he would just let me relax this time, I would do everything he asked of me. I would answer the questions, and I would tell him what happened, and I would...well...I would have to think of something nice to do for him, because he really didn't ask that much of me. I fought to open my eyes, to tell him that, but when my body finally agreed, I was staring at white all around me. I blinked tiredly a few times and forced my head to turn so I could look around, only stopping when I saw Jinki's jacket on the chair beside the bed. But where was he? I sat up, and something started beeping, and I looked around me at all the monitors. I saw tubes everywhere, and it took me a moment to realize they were going into me. I started panicing, and the machines around me bagan to beep even faster, and I screamed and looked around me, trying to understand what was going on.

A door opened, and men and women came rushing in, pushing me back onto the bed, and I struggled against them, tears forming in my eyes and finding their way out and onto my face. I was so scared. What had I done wrong? Was it because I screamed? I stopped struggling, and apologized, over and over, but they continued to hold me where I was while I cried. I couldn't make sense of it. What was I in trouble for now? And where was I? Where was Jinki? And what were all of these things beeping around me? I shoved at them again, but I had almost no strength.

"Jinki!" I called for him instinctively, though he was nowhere to be seen. I felt like I was choking on my own saliva and tears, and I sobbed. "Jinki! Jinki!"

"Get off of him!" The hands all released me before I could even think of who the voice belonged to, though I was sure I'd never heard it. I brought my hands up to my face instintively and wiped at my tears, rolling a bit to the left and coughing as I gulped down air. "Taemin?"

I looked up and saw Jinki, and realized he was the one who had yelled. I'd never heard him raise his voice. He held up his hand so I could see it, and I grabbed ahold of it, clinging to him. I rubbed at my eyes with my other hand while he held me, sliding onto the bed beside me. He looked around at the other people in the room, and I turned my head to look along with him. The people around the bed were doctors, or nurses, maybe both. I buried my face in his side, trying to calm down, trying to stop my own humiliating hysterics, but all I could think of was all those hands crushing me into the bed. I let out a sob and Jinki looked down at me for a moment, before collecting me closer to him. I focused on his heartbeat, and then his breathing, trying to get mine to match his so I wouldn't be in trouble again. I could feel my sobs slowing down, and Jinki moved slightly.

"It says on the door not to stress him out. It says to come get me or Jessica before anyone comes in here. Did you all forget how to read?" I'd never heard Jinki speak so harshly, and I stared up at him with damp eyes, but he wasn't looking at me. He ran his fingers through my hair as best as he could, but they kept getting stuck. I reached up to move my hair out of my face and saw black, dried blood on my fingers.

"Wh-what happened?" I asked. He looked back down at me when it became clear no one else was going to explain.

"You were very sick, Taemin." He said, looking at me with sadness in his eyes. "We really...we weren't sure if you were gonna get better."

"How long was I.." I started to ask, but I couldn't finish the question, seeing how hurt he was.

"It's been a week." He admitted. I shrank a bit into the bed, guilt welling up inside me. "You had a feeding tube until about an hour ago. And you have a catheder."

"What's that?" I asked, not sure I wanted to know. He glanched down the bed, toward my lower half.

"It's so you could still pee." He told me. I blushed and tried to hide my face, but he shook his head, his eyes pleading. I relented, chosing to rest my head against him instead. He pointed to a tube in the back of my hand. "This is an IV so you could stay hydrated." He pointed to my other hand. "And this was so they could take blood."

"Take blood? For what? I need it." I said, starting to panic. He sighed softly, shaking his head a bit.

"Tests. To see if you were getting better." He told me. I swallowed, nodding slowly.

"I'm sorry I scared you." I told him. "I was just really tired."

"It's alright. Do you feel better now?" He asked. I nodded. I hadn't felt this good in a long time.

"Can I go home?" I asked. Jinki looked at me with confusion on his face.

"You..want to go home?" Jinki asked. I nodded, moving to sit up. He helped me, but held onto my hands.

"I miss it there. Is it ok?" I asked. He looked upset, and I felt my heart sink. The room had gone silent around us, and I felt uncomfortable. "You...don't want me to?"

"Taemin..why would you go back? They hurt you." Jinki said, a desperation in his voice I had never heard before. "Did you see how you looked when you got here? We took pictures. I'll show you."

"Jinki.." I paused, realizing what he was saying. "Where my parents live..that's not home. I meant..with you."

"Oh, my god." Jinki breathed out. I looked at my lap, and he kissed the top of my head. "We're working on that, 'Minnie. Will you be able to tell everyone what happened? What they did?"

Again I thought back on the things they had done. Hot sauce in my underwear. The times my mother held me down to scrub me with a sponge. The way my father would taunt me about my height, first because I was so small growing up, then because I suddenly grew so tall. All the times they told me I was stupid. I was ugly. I didn't deserve to be alive. I could feel myself shaking as I recalled how my father would lock me in the closet just outside the bathroom, then leave the water going until the inevitable happened, just so he could beat me for making a mess, then sometimes leave me in the soiled cloths for days. No outfit changes without permission. I thought about them telling my teachers that I was just stupid. Thought about them telling the nurse how clumsy I was. Thought about how they said they would kill me if I ever told, and I knew they were going to do it. I knew they would, and I felt the tears coming again as the fear took over every part of me.

"No!" I shouted. Then I flinched, coming back to reality, and pulling away from Jinki. "Sorry. Sorry."

"Taemin, I asked if you could. I didn't say you had to. We can figure something else out." He assured me, trying to calm my nerves.

"Why can't I just go with you?" I asked, knowing how pathetic I sounded. I didn't want people to stare at me anymore. I just wanted to watch tv and drink cocoa. I wanted to sleep in his arms. I wanted to kiss him and feel those amazing feelings I only felt with him. He sighed.

"Your parents would have to sign away their parental rights, and give them to me for that to happen. Or we would have to take them to court." He explained. I felt my heart sinking.

"Those aren't...the _only_ options." Jessica's voice floated in from the doorway.

"What do you mean?" Jinki asked. I sat silently, nerviously, waiting for her to elaborate. She looked at me, then Jinki.

"Well. Have you ever thought about getting married?"


	5. Trust

Jinki had this little metal rectangle that played music. I wasn't allowed to listen to music, and I was afraid to at first, but he left it with me in case I changed my mind. I stared at it for a long time while I thought over what Jessica had said. If we got married, nothing would change. I could live with him, and sleep in his bed with him, and everything would be ok. Jinki would take care of me, and I could keep going to school. I could be happy, and not be afraid of anything. It all sounded so amazing, but the thought of marriage was overwhelming. I told him I needed to think about it, and mostly I was just glad I had had the frame of mind to say that, instead of screaming at them. It was all so stressful, and I just couldn't calm down at all.

Marriage was a thing that said my future is with this person. My forever relies on this person. That terrified me. We were kids. Kids weren't supposed to have forever planned out. I wasn't used to thinking past the minute I was in, and here I was being asked to make a decision that would shape my entire future? I could feel the anxiety numbing my fingers and I shook my head, trying to focus on taking deep breaths, and calming down. I hated my weakness, I hated that I let these thoughts consume me, become all I could focus on to the point where I needed to be told the one thing I wanted to hear, otherwise I would never calm down. I didn't even realize I was crying again until I called out for Jinki, who had gone into the hall with Jessica to talk.

"Taemin, why are you crying?" He asked, sitting on the edge of my bed. He gathered me into his arms and I gasped for air, clinging desperately to him. "Tell me what's wrong, baby. I can't fix it if I don't know."

I was slightly startled at the use of the pet name. He'd never done that before, but I just tucked myself in closer to him and worked on slowing my breathing down. I was afraid of talking to him for the first time, and I didn't understand it. It wasn't my usual fear, though, this was something new. I was afraid he would reject me in some simple way, purely due to my strangeness. I took a slow deep breath and sniffled slightly, wiping at my own tears for a moment before Jinki took over, watching me with patient and kind eyes.

"What if I want to do something? If I want to go somewhere really bad?" I asked him. I could feel my nose twitching and my lips trembling, and I knew I looked awful. Jinki leaned in and kissed my nose, then petted my hair. "Would you let me go? Would you come with me?"

"You're afraid that if we get married, we'll be stuck, right?" He asked. It sounded terrible, but it was true. I nodded slowly, feeling ashamed, but he smiled. "It is pretty scary. But, we're still young, and we can do anything we want. If we got married tomorrow, then next week we could decide to travel the world, and no one could tell us no. We could quit our jobs and vanish, and it wouldn't be anyone's business. I wasn't planning to live here forever, and I don't think you are either, right? We talked about this. About going places, remember? It's no different at all from that."

"I'm just scared." I told him. I couldn't bring myself to tell him my specific fears - that he would try to controll me, or hurt me, or be mean - but I think he knew. He hugged me tight.

"Taemin, the only thing that would change is you would wear a ring, and I would too." He said. "We would belong to each other. We would have a match, and everyone would know. It's not to show that one of us is in charge of the other."

"Then what is it?" I asked, my tears slowing down. He wiped my cheeks gently.

"It just means we get to show the rest of the world that we love each other, and it's ok." Jinki said. I stared at him for a minute before speaking.

"It means..we're not alone anymore." I said, and he smiled.

"Exactly. We're never alone. We've got each other." Jinki said. I snuggled against him and nodded, and he let out a breath. "I'm glad, Taemin. I'm really glad."

"Jinki?" I said. He hummed softly in response. "If..if we didn't have to..would you still want to?"

"Of course I would, Taemin. I love being with you." Jinki said. I nodded slowly, relaxing completely against him. We were quiet for a few minutes, and I reached up to move my hair.

"Am I allowed to take a shower? I feel really gross, and I don't like it at all." I asked, feeling the grime left on my fingers.

"Well, they took all of your tubes out, so I don't see why not. Let me go ask the nurse first, ok?" He said. I nodded and watched him go, only to return about a minute later with fluffy towels. "Should I...I mean..do you need help, Taemin?"

"I..I don't know." I told him. He sighed and walked over to me, looping his arms around my back.

"Would you feel better if I sat in the bathroom with you, or out here?" He asked. I blushed, cuddling against him as I thought of the best way to answer without sounding clingy.

"I feel better when I can see or hear you." I told him. He smiled a crooked little grin and lifted me off the hospital bed, carrying me into the bathroom. He set me down in front of the shower, then paused.

"I forgot to bring your cloths." He said. "But, I have my bag with me. Do you want to borrow some of mine?"

"If it's ok with you." I said, nodding shyly. He smiled.

"I'll go get them. Turn on the shower, but just wait a minute before you get in so it's not the wrong temperature, ok?" He said, leaning in and catching my lips for the first time since the whole mess had begun. I barely had time to respond before he was pulling away. I blushed and focused on the shower, automatically turning on the cold water. I stood for a minute, watching it pour down, before I started taking off the hospital gown. Jinki came back in and walked over to where I was struggling with the strings, and paused when he felt some of the water's spray hit his hand. "Taemin..you're supposed to turn on the hot water, too."

"What?" I asked, and I looked at him to see he was smiling at me like I had made a mistake.

"If you shower in cold water you'll get sick again." He explained, reaching into the shower and turning another knob. He pulled my hand into the water to feel it, and it was warm. Not too hot, but enough to relax me. I pulled my hand back and shook my head.

"Jinki, I'll get in trouble." I told him. "We're not at your house. It's not allowed."

"What?" He asked, his tone was sharp, and he looked slightly aggitated. I flinched back instinctively.

"Dirty people don't get hot showers." I explained, stressing out over the confusion in my head. I was dirty, it was obvious just looking at me. "The cold water freezes the bad out."

"Taemin, you're not bad." He told me, slight annoyance clear in his voice, and I could see him getting angry. He reached towards me, and I cringed away from him. He froze in place, his arm stretched out, and stared at me. "Taemin...don't be afraid of me. You know me. I wouldn't hurt you."

"But you're mad. It's different when people get mad." I told him. His mouth hung open for a minute, and then he shook his head. He beconed for me to come closer, and I obliged nervously. He pulled me against his chest and let out a ragged breath. I looked up and saw tears on his face. "Why are you crying?"

"Because, Taemin, sometimes you tell me things, and it just breaks my heart." He said. "You're not dirty. You're not bad. And, Taemin, I would never, never hurt you. I don't know why you think these things, because they're not true. You're a beautiful person, so please just...stop listening to all of those lies. It's not ok for you to think that you deserve this. Everyone should be allowed to have a warm shower, Taemin."

"But...my mother..." I felt like I was going to cry again. I didn't want him to be upset, and I knew he was, and it was all my fault.

"Taemin, you're mother didn't deserve to have you." Jinki said.

I hugged him tightly, and he kissed me again, slower this time. When he pulled back this time, he pulled the strings on my hospital gown and let it fall to the ground around me. I stared at his eyes, and he stared at mine the whole time, and even though I was embarassed and afraid, I knew I would be ok. I pushed down the pants and stepped into the shower, feeling the heat absorb into my body. I knew he was still on the other side of the curtain, and I was embarassed, but I poked my head out after a minute. He looked at me curiously and I let my gaze fall to the floor for a moment. Jinki said asking for help was ok, and I had to listen to the small part of me that trusted him. It was hard, because in our time apart doubts had risen, but I knew he would make them go away. I would trust him completely, with time, but to get there, I would have to work as hard as him.

"Can you help me wash my hair?" I mumbled shyly. I heard him laugh, and I looked up at him to see that beautiful smile on his face. Relief washed through me, then, with the knowledge that I could make him happy.

"Of course. Hand me the shampoo."


	6. Tell Me Your Wish

"Taemin?" Jinki said. I looked up at him, surprised, and yanking my hands back to my body. I had been reaching for his iPod when he spoke up, but my skiddish brain caused me to panic and leave it where it was. He smiled apologetically, and I looked down awkwardly, blushing.

"Yeah?" I said. I felt his hand on my leg and I moved over so he could sit. I let my arms relax and I looked up at him sheepishly, sliding my legs over his so I could touch him.

"I..I want you to meet someone. I've been telling her about you for a while, and.." He trailed off. "She's really important to me. So..it's important that you try to get along, ok?"

"O-ok.." I said, shrinking back a bit. I wasn't good with first impressions, and if this woman meant a lot to Jinki, and I messed it up..what would happen? What if she hated me? Jinki reached out to me, pulling me closer to him, and kissed my head gently. He smiled down at me, and I cuddled against his chest, holding onto the sleeves of the sweatshirt he had given me. "Is she nice?"

The second the words left my lips, I heard blood rushing behind my ears. It sounded like a windstorm inside my brain, rushing through and blocking everything outside. Jinki looked at me, surprised by my question, and I hid my face, shame taking over. Why was I making it about me? I shook my head rapidly, rubbing the sleeves against my face until the friction felt like it was burning my skin off. Jinki grabbed my wrists and I jolted, pulling to try to get away from him. He looked at my face, and brushed his fingers against the place I had been rubbing. I realized his mouth was moving, but I couldn't hear him. I was breathing too hard, and I coughed suddenly, before blinking several times. He had stopped talking now, and was just staring at me. I took slow deep breaths, clearly calming down as I stared back at him and took a moment to think.

What triggered that attack? Nothing. I just freaked out. What was wrong with me? Why did he even want to be with me? How could he love someone as messed up as I was? It didn't make sense, and I pulled my legs off of his as I felt the panic rising again. I hunched over, trying my best to force it out as the thoughts swirled in my head. He would realize some day that there was no fixing me. I was busted merchandise, and he would go looking somewhere else. I choked on my air and suddenly Jinki was moving around me, but I had no concept of what was going on outside of myself. I felt my head spinning and my body going numb as I tried too hard to gasp for air. I was crying, inhaling my tears and saliva, and suddenly I was just sick all over the bed. Then I cried harder, and someone was wiping my mouth, then taking the blanket away.

I felt arms around me, holding me tight in a warm place, and I fought against it before grasping it, focusing on it. I followed that physical heat, like a lifeline pulling me out of my mental trap. When I caught on to Jinki's smell I burrowed my head into his chest as he rocked me gently, stroking my hair. I became aware of the taste of my own salty tears on my lips, and I got that much closer to reality. I forced my eyes open and focused on him, and he was looking at me with such worry in his eyes that I didn't know what to do. He looked almost afraid, and I grabbed onto his shirt, focusing on the last sense I seemed to be missing. I heard myself crying, as though it were muffled, then suddenly it was sharp and clear, and I gasped, reaching up to my face and wiping my eyes. Jinki pushed my hand out of the way and wiped at my tears himself, and I looked around at all the people in the room. There were three nurses I had come to know, two doctors that had been assigned to my case, Jessica, and a woman I had never seen before. I was exhausted, suddenly, but guilt won out over the need to hide myself away inside of Jinki's arms. I looked around at them all, breathing slowly. I pulled my knees up against my chest, then wrapped my arms around them, bringing my left hand up to my hair. It was a small comfort I had offered myself over the years, and it was helping me keep calm enough to face them without Jinki standing behind me.

"I..." I tried to talk, my voice rough. I coughed a bit and looked up at Jinki, then everyone else as I finally whispered out what I wanted to say. "I'm sorry."

There was sadness in all the eyes of the people in the room, and I didn't know what to do. Jinki stared at me with an expression I hadn't seen before. I felt like I was shrinking, and I hugged myself tighter as a new thought occured to me. Was I in trouble? I hadn't freaked out this bad since one time when I was staying with Jinki. I began to shake all over, and Jinki suddenly pulled me close to him. He stroked my hair gently, and I held onto him tightly. He kissed my head softly and I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm what had begun to stir. There was no need for round 3.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked. Jinki stilled suddenly, before he leaned back from me and looked me in the eye.

"Why would you be in trouble?" He asked, looking surprised. I opened and closed my mouth a few times.

"I made a mess." I said, uncertainty clear in my voice. He shook his head, looking away.

"Taemin, I don't know what to do to make you believe me.." He said, then turned back to me. "You have done nothing wrong. You won't get in trouble or be punished for accidents. I just want to make you happy, and make you feel better. I want you to be safe and comfortable, and I'm trying really hard."

I didn't know what to say to that, so instead I squashed myself against him. He rubbed my back and played with my hair, humming softly so I could hear it. I closed my eyes and listened, relaxing against him. Jinki would sing to me in the night, if I had nightmares, and it always made me feel better. I could hardly believe I could love someone so much that I had only known three months. It almost hurt, and I sighed against him, a smile working it's way onto my face.

"I love you." I whispered, looking up at him shyly. He squeezed me closer, his own face breaking into a grin.

"I love you too." He told me. He looked around for a moment, then back at me. "Do you remember the woman I wanted you to meet? She's my mother. Can you say hi?"

"Where is she?" I asked. He got up slowly, still allowing me to hold onto his shirt. The only other people still in the room were Jessica and the woman I didn't recognize.

"Taemin?" She said softly. I nodded, glancing up at Jinki automatically. He pet my hair softly. "My name is Haneul. How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok." I said, watching her carefully. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well. Do you mind if I come sit with you?" She asked. I was really surprised by her question, but I let go of Jinki's shirt and patted the empty space on the bed. She smiled softly and sat beside me. "Jinki's told me a lot about you. How nice you are, and how you like to cook. How you're really shy and very cute."

"He said that?" I asked. She nodded, and I looked up at Jinki. He was smiling at me, and I bit my lip before turning back to his mother. "I don't cook as well as him. I'm working on it, but he's just better than I am. I got in trouble for making bad food a lot, and.."

I stopped talking as quickly as I had started, watching her for any sign that she might be angry. You weren't supposed to talk badly about your parents. I remained completely still, watching her, and she tilted her head a bit, before looking up at Jinki. He touched my head and I looked up at him quickly, before looking back at her. I studied her for a moment, then relaxed a bit. It was clear she wasn't angry, and I let out a breath I had been holding.

"He makes really good cocoa." I told her. "He makes it with milk, and he puts fluff on top instead of marshmallows."

"Really?" She asked, sounding slightly amused. She looked up at Jinki with a small smile. "That's just how I make it."

"You don't say." Jinki said, sounding like he was teasing her. I tugged on his sleeve, keeping my eyes on her as he bent down. "What's up?"

"Um.." I leaned in close to his ear, still keeping an eye on his mother, and whispered softly to him. "Am I doing ok?"

"Taemin.." He said, sighing a bit. He picked me up off the bed, scaring me a bit, before he sat where I had been and held me in his lap. He turned his attention to his mother. "He's afraid you don't like him."

"Well, there's nothing to worry about." She said, reaching out toward me. I cringed away automatically, slipping out of Jinki's hold to avoid her touch. She looked hurt, and I felt guilt crushing me as I hid behind Jinki. Even the thought of her touching me terrified me. Not even the doctors could touch me without a lot of effort, and I felt horrible about it.

"That's still something we're working on." He said softly, reaching around to wrap his arm around my waist and pull me back into his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder as I sat facing him and stared at his t-shirt collar. "Taemin, you know I won't let you get hurt right?"

"Y-yeah." I said, nodding. He pulled me away from his chest so he could look at me. My thoughts flashed momentarily on how small he made me feel, but then I focused on him.

"Then just do me a favor." He requested. I eyed him warily as he reached his arm towards his mother, taking her hand and bringing it over to me. "Don't panic."

I nodded slowly, holding onto his t-shirt as tightly as I could as I felt their hands come into contact with my arm. I flinched slightly, but forced myself to stay where I was as Jinki's hand dropped away, coming to rest on my hip as his mother rubbed my shoulder gently. I tucked my head under Jinki's chin and looked over at her fearfully. I wished I could have just accepted her touch, but I knew it was going to be a while before I was comfortable with her. I liked her a lot, but that didn't mean I trusted her. She petted my hair for a minute or so before sighing.

"You should let me cut your hair." She said absently. I squeezed Jinki tighter and shook my head, but she didn't see. "It's pretty long for a boy. If you bring it up to the base of your neck, even, I think-"

"No!" I said sharply, pulling away from Jinki. He let me hide behind him as he shook his head.

"I was trying to tell you before. He won't cut his hair." He said, and I looked up at him. He wrapped his arm around me, letting me tuck in beside him. "Scissors."

I looked at her apologetically, but her expression matched mine. I felt bad, but I just couldn't trust her. I still flinched sometimes when Jinki touched me.

A few hours later, she left. I layed with my head on Jinki's chest, relaxing and being greatful that his mother have given her approval. I was so tired, but I wasn't ready to sleep. Jinki was already out cold, and I sat up slowly, reaching over him to take hold of his iPod. There was a certain determination I had never felt before coming over me, demanding that I do this. I put the buds in my ears and made sure the volume was on low before I started searching through his music, not sure what to listen to. I eventually settled on a band called So Nyuh Shi Dae and decided to listen to a song called Genie. I curled back up against Jinki and closed my eyes, letting the music flow through me, and knowing somehow that it would change my life.


	7. Interview

I knew something was wrong when I woke up the next morning. Jinki was standing beside the bed, arms crossed, and Jessica was standing opposite of him, her posture implying she wasn't very happy. I sat up slowly and Jinki glanced back at me, then refocused on Jessica. I had fallen asleep listening to his iPod, and I pulled out the earbuds slowly.

"Jinki?" I said softly. He shook his head, reaching his hand toward me absently. I grabbed it, taking it as reassurance that I wasn't the one he was mad at.

"I know you don't like it. I don't either, but I can offer them an ultimatum they can't ignore." Jessica said. She looked at me, then back at Jinki. "Besides, you need to stay calm for his sake."

"What can you say to them?" Jinki asked, his tone containing a razors edge, almost invisible, and deadly sharp. I grabbed his sleeve, and he glanced at me again, moving closer to me. He brought his hands to my shoulders and started rubbing them absently. I nearly groaned out loud as he massaged a tender spot, but in the back of my head I knew he was just trying to distract me. I listened, even as I was lost in my own world.

"I can tell them they need to sign the consent form or we'll take them to court. So far, we've kept this out of the news, but it's going to go public tonight." Jessica said, sighing. "We'll have enough of the country behind us that they'd just be better off signing him away than fighting us."

"But what if they know it's a bluff?" Jinki asked. "Taemin can't take the stand, and they can use that against him."

"They won't think of that." Jessica said quietly. "They're not that smart."

"What's going on?" I asked. Jinki looked back at me again, then sighed and sat beside me, pulling me into his lap. I looked at him with big eyes, and he ran his fingers through my hair. "Please, tell me."

"Your parents need to sign a consent form for you to get married under the age of 18. If they won't sign, we'll have to take them to court to try and revoke their rights, then have someone we can trust take custody and sign the paperwork." Jessica said. "If we tell them we're going to take them to court if they don't sign there's a chance that they'll sign it, but there's also the possibility that they won't believe us at first, so we might have to bluff. Scare them."

"You can't scare them. They're not afraid of anything." I said, shaking my head. It was true, after all. They didn't know what fear was, unless they were instilling it in me. I leaned back against Jinki, letting his warmth be my comfort.

"Taemin, I know it's really hard to think about it this way, but you need to realize they're not monsters. They're just people." Jessica said. Jinki tensed, and I curled up against him. "All the times they scared you, had that power over you, this is your chance to scare them back. To have power over them, and make them realize they can't hurt you forever."

I stayed quiet as I thought about what she was saying. She was offering me an opportunity to stand up for myself. A chance to be the stronger one in the situation. I took in my own posture and evaluated myself. Even at my best, I wasn't intimidating. At all. But could I pretend to be? Would that be enough? I rubbed my head against Jinki's chest, enjoying the heat under my skin. I wanted to kiss him again. It was so strange to me, how this urge came up more and more often. Sometimes multiple times throughout the day, and I was powerless against it, like everything else. I didn't kiss him when I wanted to, though. In fact we hadn't kissed in two days, but the fact that I was aware of that shocked me. I nodded slowly, agreeing to what Jessica was saying.

"Tae.." Jinki said, sounding stressed as he stroked my hair. "Listen to me. If we do this, you need to make it seem like you'll go through with this. I don't know if you can do that. I can't be with you all the time you talk to them, or their lawyer. They would say I'm influencing you."

"I'll be ok." I told him, knowing he thought I was weak. "I can just pretend."

"Will that be enough?" He asked. I nodded, snuggling with him

"I'll go and contact their lawyer." She said, stepping out of the room. I looked up at Jinki as soon as the door was closed.

"Jink?" I said, using his nickname. He looked down at me, surprised. I hadn't called him that since the summer. "I love you."

"I love you too." He said, stroking my hair.

I leaned up and kissed him slowly, and he responded sweetly after a moment of surprise. I never kissed him, but I couldn't help myself this time. It was too much to wait for him, and I wanted to keep on kissing him forever. He didn't seem to have any objection as he slid his arms around my torso. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him slowly, ocasionally breaking away, only to come back again a moment later. I put all my weight on him and felt my eyes flutter closed as the sensation overtook me. I'd never been happier. I'd never felt more like I belonged. That was how I knew I could do whatever I needed to do, as long as I could end up back here, in his arms.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I got so caught up in our own private world I almost didn't noticed the sudden flash of light from the corner of the room. I pulled back from him sharply and looked toward it's origin, finding a man with a camera, and the flashes coming again and again. I gasped and ducked under Jinki's arm, sliding around behind him. If nothing else, I was a master of hiding behind things. Jinki leaned forward slightly, looking defensive, and the man lowered his camera a few moments later, looking sheepish.

"I figured the best photos would come when you weren't expecting it." He said. Jinki didn't relax, and I pressed myself against his back. The man sighed. "I'm here to do the interview."

"You could have knocked." Jinki said, his tone harsher than normal. I tugged on his shirt.

"What interview?" I asked. He looked back at me and sighed.

"The story's gotten out, lots of rumors." Jinki said. "I..meant to talk to you about it before we got distracted."

"What am I supposed to say?" I asked, glancing over at the man with the camera, who was now holding a recorder. Jinki pet my hair.

"Just answer the questions he asks if you can, and if you can't, say so." Jinki said. "Don't worry too much about it."

"But why did he take pictures?" I asked, glancing over his shoulder. He shrugged a bit.

"Because he has no respect for people's privacy." Jinki said. "Can you come sit with me?"

I eyed the man in the doorway warily and silently moved under Jinki's arm, my eyes never leaving the stranger. In my comfort zone, it was easier to answer the qestions I was being asked. More than once, however, I would start talking without really thinking. It was a terrible habbit I was developing, and when I realized I was doing it I would freeze up, falling silent suddenly and sometimes for several minutes. Jinki would rub my arm, or kiss my head, and I would come back to reality and ask for the question to be repeated, embarrassment flooding my features. What was wrong with me? Eventually, I just curled up against Jinki, my eyes closing as I made an awkward attempt at blocking out the rest of the world.

"Taemin?" Jinki said softly. I looked up at him, my eyes stinging.

"I can't do it anymore." I admitted. "I don't like to think about it. I tried, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," The man asking all the questions said. I looked over at him, then covered my eyes. "You've answered a lot of questions. We're grateful."

"Ok." I said, nodding. Jinki kissed my head softly.

"To answer your last question, we plan to get married before the end of the month." Jinki said. "I haven't gotten to go pick up a ring for him yet, I've been busy with him here, but he's agreed to be with me."

"This story just gets crazier and crazier." The man said, laughing softly. I peeked out at him, grinning myself as I spoke up.

"You don't know the half of it."


End file.
